The political process has been painfully slow, but in 2004 the Province of Manitoba brought into law that same sex marriages are a legal union. Hopefully this will set a precedent to enlighten other Provinces about the sanctity of all unions regardless of gender configuration.

Weddings are a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for a couple to make a declaration of love, commitment and independence. First and foremost, it’s a statement that you make to each other, and a ritual that will mark your new role in society as a married couple. As with all civil ceremonies in Manitoba, you have the freedom to compose and design your own ceremony. You will want your wedding service to express the essence of who you are and perceive of your individual pasts and your future together. After having waited so long for the Province to finally legalize same sex marriages, your ceremony should be the ultimate celebration of the joining of two people who have endured the struggle and now can finally proclaim before their family and friends their love and devotion for one another.

If you are wondering what your ceremony could be like, I’ll go through some possible elements to it.

Introductory Remarks - I, as your celebrant, would welcome everyone, speak of the particular circumstances of the occasion and the importance of the family and friends being present; of the couples’s own thoughts and feelings about themselves and their partnership. You could include some shared passions, i.e. mutual love for dogs, classical music, traveling, spicy food or interests that you differ on, i.e. country music, gardening, or golf.

"In marriage, we give ourselves freely and generously into the hands

of the one we love,

and in doing so, each of us received the love and trust of the other

as our most precious gift.

But even as that gift is shared by two people who are in love,

it also touches all friends

and family members who in various ways support and

contribute to the relationship.

(name) and (name) want to especially thank their dear friends for inviting

them on that first golfing date and although it is now obvious that

(name) does not share (name)’s love of the links, their mutual passion

for gardening gives them endless hours of joy.

All of you are here as (name)and (name)’s community, and so each of you

has played some part in bringing them to this moment.

This is why, gathering as a community is such an important part

of a wedding ceremony. Because (name) and (name)

are now taking a new form as a married couple,

and in this form, they become part of their community in a new way."

The Vows and The Rings - There are numerous possibilities for your vows and for exchanging rings and you may choose to write your own vows or use one from my pre-written ceremonies. The choice of words to express your commitment is entirely for you to decide and constitute the most meaningful part of the ceremony for not only yourselves, but for all those present.

"(name) and (name), we are here to remember and rejoice with you and to recount with one another that it is love that guides us on our path, and to celebrate as you begin this new journey together. It is in this spirit that you have come here today to exchange these vows."

"Do you (name), take (name) to be your spouse,

Do you promise above all else to live in truth with her/him.

and to communicate fully and fearlessly.

Do you give her/him your hand and your heart

as a sanctuary of warmth and peace,

and pledge your love, devotion, faith and honor

as you join your life to hers/his."

(repeated for other partner)

"The wedding ring is an unbroken, never-ending circle, just as your commitment and love for each other is never-ending. These simple bands are not of great value in themselves, but are made precious by what they represent. They are a symbol to you and the world of your union. Your rings say that you are two individuals bound together. When you look at these rings, remember the commitment that you have made to each other today. (name), place the ring on (name)’s finger, and repeat after me:"

"Just as this circle is without end, my love for you is eternal

Just as it is made of indestructible substance

my commitment to you will never fail

With this ring I take you to be my partner for life."

(ring exchange repeated for other partner)

“From this day on, let these rings, and the love that they represent be your most treasured and precious possessions.”

The Closing Remarks - These can be as important as the opening remarks and you want your officiant to convey your commitment to each other and send you off with best wishes for the future. They also can set the tone for the rest of your day.

"(name) and (name), your lives and spirits are joined

in a union of love and trust.

Above you are the stars and below you the earth.

Like the stars your love should be a constant source of light,

and like the earth, a firm foundation from which to grow.

May you always love deeply, laugh heartily,

practice patience, and smile often.

May you dream together, grow, be crazy, give,

give in, and trust enough to take.

May you rediscover each other, listen carefully

and always have open hearts."

One last comment about individuality…… don't be afraid to throw tradition out the window entirely when it comes to your wedding celebrations. I've seen weddings where the wedding party were on Harley Davidsons and the best man -- the groom's best friend -- was a woman. I've seen brides dressed in black, groomsmen in Hawaiian shirts, and dogs as ring bearers. I’ve performed a wedding in Lake Winnipeg and one on it’s shore when it was -40 degrees. Anything goes.

"You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving. The great acts of love are done by those who are habitually performing small acts of kindness. We pardon to the extent that we love. Love is knowing that even when you are alone, you will never be lonely again. And great happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved. Loved for ourselves. And even loved in spite of ourselves."

For more information, see Wedding Ceremonies.

Barbara Holmstrom